Thursday, 11 October 2007

A Haunted House

Around the early days of September, I heard a horrible, draw-out wail rising from this old house, near the Karacaahmet district on the Asian side of Istanbul.

Even though I'd passed it by hundreds of times, it had never occurred me before to take a proper look at this place. Look at the beautiful, intricate design of the doors. This was probably the property of a rich Armenian or Greek family, before they abandoned it for better futures.

The house still had old tags for gas lines. This method of heating and illumination was discontinued sometime after the sixties or the seventies, giving a possible date for the last time it was inhabited.

The garden was full of friendly cats, but no ghosts. There was also a deep, old water well that I almost fell in. I covered it up with planks and branches lest the poor cats don't.

I couldn't find anything else in the garden, but there were plenty of dark, broken windows I could poke my camera through...

...the flashes only revealed trash and desolation. Just as flashes were going off, however, a ghostly scream began to emanate from the interior of the house. Now it sounded more like...

...a dog's cry. The "ghost" was just a poor, blind old dog that had somehow crawled into the house to die. It couldn't move about as I took these photos, it just kept wailing and wailing.

I left the place with a terrible sense of sadness for the wretched creature.

If ghosts had any basis in reality, however, Istanbul would be haunted by entire families of Greeks, Armenians and other non-Turkish minorities whose lives had been erased by a century-long history of national homogenization. As if their departure wasn't enough, the remainders of their houses, schools and churches are purposefully being allowed to rot away, as if the buildings somehow constitute a threat to the nation's integrity.

Molten Rabbit Chocolate Death

Kill us... kill... us... Stinky, semi-molten chocolate easter bunnies for sale in a bus station's gift store near Izmir. Turkish bakers learned to make bunny-shaped sweets from the Greeks, but they don't consume them for the same reasons.

At the Santa Maria Draperis Latin Church

The courtyard...

...and the interior of the Santa Maria Draperis Latin Church in Istiklal Avenue; arguably the most European part of Istanbul.

Exploding Plants

One of the most entertaining plants that I ever know of is the exploding cucumber, Ecballium elaterium. Found commonly throughout the Mediterranean shores, it explosively discharges a thick fluid that contains its seeds when touched. By explosive, I mean explosive; the jet of goo can sting your face just by its force. It is also distasteful, and irritating as hell when it gets to the eyes.

A favorite childhood game: Opposing players sit around an Ecballium patch with long sticks in their hands and try to prod the right fruits that will go off in the face of their opponent. Remember and try it if you see these plants, it's mighty fun!

All Hail Atatürk

This gigantic monument to Mustafa Kemal Atatürk dominates a certain section of the Istanbul-Izmir highway. I have nothing against Atatürk, but I think totalitarian statues like this fly in the face of his vision of a society free from dogmas. It is also kitsch to the point of being ironic; Kemal's head on the spire almost gives the effect of being impaled on a stake.

Balls of Steel

No ball games: Tonight at the LSE (London School of Economics) campus, we saw a group of brave young men lining up with their testicles in their hands...

...a minute later they broke out into a wild run, at the end of which they spin around themselves for ten turns, all the while drinking gregariously...

...I guess this was one of England's antique pub games, or alternatively, an equally arcane initiation rite to the LSE rugby team that was holding a party that night...

...I could have just asked, of course, but it would be a bit awkward to ask the drunken guys with their balls hanging out just what they were up to.